Making Life “Legendary”

When I think of legends, my mind automatically goes to quarterbacks, center fielders, and point guards.

Musicians, singers, actors, and directors.

We all think the same way to an extent. Fame equals accomplishment. Extreme accomplishment propels you into legend. The more of a legend you are, the more praise and accolades that you receive. The legend grows.

Babe Ruth is legendary. As is Michael Jordan. They will always be synonymous with their respective trades. Michaelangelo, DaVinci, and Einstein are the ultimate legends, unsurpassed in their works of genius.

But what about you? And me? What can we do to make life “legendary“?

I don’t think I could ever achieve legend status through work or trade. Although I may have thought I was a legend as a bartender in my family’s restaurant so many years ago, that was more or less just youthful exuberance. And a little bit of ego.

When I think legend nowadays, what comes to mind are people that have served or shaped others’ lives in an extraordinary, or even very ordinary, way.

“The quality of a person’s life is in direct proportion of their commitment to excellence, regardless of their chosen field of endeavor.” – Vince Lombardi

Guys like Babe Ruth or Michael Jordan aren’t legends purely because of their numbers, but because of the way they changed the game they played. Their influence on future generations of athletes is something that’s hard to calculate.

That’s what’s legendary about them. The shaping of lives and the future, and the changing of the game.

An athlete like Joe DiMaggio wasn’t held in such high esteem solely because of a 56 game hitting streak or his talent as a gifted defensive player. He was also a legend because he was a boy from a poor family who became an American star, and he had tremendous influence on generations of other Americans. Especially those of Italian descent.

His life was a model of success that even the most ordinary person could draw from. He inspired hope and possibility.

That’s why Einstein, Mother Teresa, Mandela, and John Paul II are the recognizable figures they are. They are and were game changers. With the ability and the drive to influence lives and help others to the best of their ability.

I love the idea of the athlete, and the fascination with their skills. But to compare your potential for greatness to someone with sometimes freakish ability isn’t being fair to yourself. You and I have much more potential to be like the aforementioned game changers.

All were committed to enhancing the lives of those who needed it most and they were unwavering in their commitment. It was 24/7 for them. They did everything in an extraordinary way. 

How about the ”legends” that live or lived an ordinary life? Those people are the ones we all know. You’ll see some great anecdotes about my grandparents in this blog. They shaped the lives of those around them every single day. When I go through the motions of my life, my actions and my thoughts and words are strongly influenced by my family.

That’s the secret (if there is a secret) to making the ordinary legendary. Always be looking to influence, motivate, educate, and uplift. Whether it be family, friends, or individuals you have yet to know, find out where and when you can make an impact.

In the words of a true legend:

A life is not important except in the impact it has on other lives.
- Jackie Robinson

“Life Is Precious”, Epilogue

A week ago, my 96 year old grandmother passed away. Featured here in a previous post, she is one of the inspirations I look at to write here on this blog. Although she had such longevity and was in steadily failing health recently, I’m sure the days to come will seem very different without her here.

It was difficult to mourn her death completely, though. To an extent, I was happy for her. As a believer in an afterlife, I’m thinking she just took a trip to another level of her existence, to see the family and friends that passed before her. She had a really big party waiting for her on the other side.

I think when we mourn the death of someone like this, we mourn more for ourselves. Because a little piece of our own lives has been chipped away. Again. And we sooner or later have to look our own mortality square in the face.

Even for someone who has faith, that can be a daunting task.

My grandmother’s funeral was an event, if she could have seen it, that she would have loved. The mass was at the church she was married in. “Ave Maria”, a favorite song, was sung beautifully for her. And she was buried in the cemetery where her husband and son were waiting for her.

I imagined as her health declined I would be able to deliver a eulogy at her funeral, and I had the privilege to do so. It was appropriately positioned by the priest after that stirring version of  “Ave Maria”, which provided comfort as I went to the podium.

The following is some of what I said:

‘Life is precious’. When my grandmother said this, with her thick Italian accent, it always came out sounding like ‘Life is pressure’. She was right on both accounts. When I pointed out to her the way it sounded, we had a great laugh about it, and it became a running joke from that point on.

A lot of us here (in the church) today had the privilege of sitting at my Nonna’s kitchen table, to have a cup of coffee or eat something. In some cases, be forced to eat something. Those of you who didn’t eat, heard the words ‘mangia, mangia, mangia’ over and over again until you finally put something in your mouth.

I was lucky enough to not just sit at that table once in a while, but practically grow up sitting there. My parents worked at their restaurant a lot, so I was fortunate to spend many days and weekends at my grandparents’ house.

‘Life is precious’ is just one of the many nuggets of wisdom I learned at that kitchen table. It wasn’t just a place to have coffee or to eat, but also to grow and learn how to live life the right way, and how to enjoy yourself.

At that table, I learned that ‘Food is life’, ‘It’s later than you think’, ‘Life is a-worth living’, and to never trust anyone who doesn’t like music. They’re bad people.

After Gram passed away, I thought a lot about those kitchen sessions, and with the help of food and coffee, how I acquired many of the skills I have today. When I chop garlic, make sauce, roll a meatball, say a prayer with my kids, or sing along with a song on the radio at the top of my lungs, I do it the way she did it. And for all that, I’m very grateful.

I appreciate all of the simple things in my life because that’s what she did. Her life really was simple, but her impact on other peoples’ lives was simply spectacular. She was small in stature, but she was a giant in so many ways.

Following that, I acknowledged my parents for their selfless dedication to her care in her last years, which brought applause from everyone. It was nice to walk from the podium with those sounds echoing throughout the church. I imagine it would have been difficult to walk back to my seat to the sound of silence.

The weather was unusual that day. The morning had started with the last dredges of freezing rain and slop, but at the mass in church, we could see the sun begin to blaze outside as it’s rays filtered through the stained glass windows. As we went to the cemetery, the warmth of the sun seemed even stronger, like it was all those days spent in my grandparents’ back yard. On their patio. On their street.

Riposare in pace, Nonna. And thanks in advance for all the inspiration to come.

Only In The Struggle

I make my living as a salesguy.

In my line of work, things are pretty cut and dried. You either do your job, or you don’t. You make your money, or you won’t. You don’t get a paycheck (of any decent size, anyway) unless there has been some substantial effort to obtain it. You want the money, you go after it.

There are goals to be met and achieved. If you are not making the company set goals, chances are you are not going to meet your financial goals.

Over the last couple of years, it has been a struggle for me to get to 100% of my sales goal. I have gotten there, often with a furious rally towards the end of the year to catch up. But its a struggle. Where some other people in my office make it look easy, I have to grind at it. For me, it is far from easy.

So now, it’s a new year. Selling territories have been slashed. New folks have been hired. What wasn’t even close to easy for me before, now just got measurably more difficult. It will be a struggle.

I have, in the past, at times struggled professionally. After I left my family’s restaurant, which was a life that seemed tailor made for me, I spent years trying to find my place, to not stumble, to find something I was good at…for the sake of making money.

I work a job now where I feel fairly successful. I provide for my family. We are able to afford a pretty nice life.

But the rules of the game have changed. And they always will. In my company, in the American employment landscape, change will be the only thing that stays consistent.

There are now decisions to make. It’s a new year, with a new plan, and we’re all at the bottom, looking up. Only this time, that mountain peak is much higher. Will I accept just the struggle? Or will I accept the challenge to overcome it?

I have found it easy to be frustrated (this week especially) because of what looks to be this upcoming financial challenge. But I have also found it easy to be very satisfied with the direction life is headed recently. And I don’t think that’s a coincidence.

I’m happy with the direction of my life partly because of the struggle, the challenges that we all face that make life rewarding: We can be satisfied simply by overcoming those challenges.

I appreciate my life as it is. Because I’m aware of, and appreciate where I’ve been. And where my family has been. And the daily struggles they had to overcome and the challenges they met  head on, coming from Italy to America to make a life and fulfill a dream.

With that perspective, this salesguy (and husband, father, and friend) is also ready to meet it all head on, and accept the struggle.

“Life has meaning only in the struggle. Triumph or defeat is in the hands of the Gods. So let us celebrate the struggle!“